In the first part of this post, I talked about how, at the beginning of my recovery, I wrote down all my fears on paper scraps and kept them in a box, which I placed at the feet of Our Lord. I have now opened that box and assessed whether those fears have come true or not, and how I see them from my current perspective as a newly weight restored person.
Let’s tackle the 7 fears we had left!
“That others will think I looked better when I was anorexic”
I felt so embarrassed when I imagined others could think why on earth I’d gained weight, if I looked better before. That they could compare photos and prefer the “before”.
First of all, what others think shouldn’t matter to you at all, especially because people have been brainwashed with stupid beauty standards which normalize what’s sick.
But, in addition, that’s not what has happened, no one thinks that. Maybe because it’s not only about an increase of the volume of your body, but your skin gets better, your hair turns silkier and thick, your nails get stronger, your eyes shine more, and you radiate more energy and vitality. Objectively, the healthier you are, the more beautiful you look.
It’s true that, at the point I am, this fear has come to me again, because now nobody seems to think that I need to keep gaining weight, except for doctors. Everyone takes for granted that I’m fine physically. But hey, I know I still have room to improve and, if this method has worked for me so far, why wouldn’t it keep being like that?
VERDICT: it hasn’t come true. And if someone thinks that, they’re an idiot.
