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ED Recovery, Recovery life  /  March 8, 2019

20 years of anorexia: the story of Hadassa

Today it’s not me who will be talking, but I’ll leave you with the story of a very brave warrior. A loyal reader of this blog who, after a long and arid fight, is more willing than ever to break the chains of the slavery of anorexia.

Here it is:

20 years of anorexia

I’ve been almost 20 years sick with anorexia, from when I was 17 and now I’m 36… My goodness, writing it makes me feel so sad… I remember when I was 23, when I started the treatment that has worked better for me, and they explained to me that recovery is long, 3 to 5 years they said, and I thought: “Ugh! 5 years???”. Now I look back and wish it would have been 5 years, it’s been 13 since that day, and I’m still sick…

I’m very sad because I missed the opportunity to recover with that treatment, with which I got quite far at recovery; I think it’s the best treatment I’ve had, but in the end I couldn’t leave the illness behind. I see that I’ve lost so many years, and sometimes I think that, being 36, I’m already too old for certain things, for example for the life project I’ve always longed for: raising a family…

But I’m still alive and, therefore, it’s not too late to take my life back and start to write a different story! Maybe I won’t be able to raise a family, but I’m sure about this: I don’t want to see myself being 40 or 50 and still from hospital to hospital and as weak as this illness leaves me; but to be able to look back and feel proud of having overcome this illness, of being at a healthy weight and enjoying eating what’s appropriate, no more and no less, that is, enjoying taking care of myself. It’s what I’m starting to do now… and I’d like to share what’s moving me towards it in case it can help someone… But before, let me explain how it all started and what has kept this illness inside me for so long…

KEEP READING

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